Urggh

OK-

Here's how it goes.

I realy wanna do something but another family member already has now and I am at that devil infested crossroads of loathing and fear that I will start a major thing if I do it too but the horrid saddness that if I don't I will live with that guilt of what would have happened if...

Am I just doing this because they did it or am I realy doing it because I want to?

Evil bitch once said you only want because someone else has and that starts rattlein around up there and then...